Blog

/

About Josh

/

Church Details

/

Speaking

/

Videos

/

Contact

Connie says:

This is a topic that I’ve been struggling with for the last year and a half. I find myself praying earnestly for my son to be healed, but then find myself doubting my worthiness to ask for something so big. Then I seem to switch to praying to know how to deal with his illness, to know what treatments/medications to try, what doctors to see or just what to do to help him cope with what has become his new reality. It’s just so hard to “turn it over to God” when you don’t know what He’ll do with it, when you can’t see “the big picture”. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment if God chooses not to heal, and you also don’t want to be sitting around doing nothing when God has a different lesson/purpose for what you are experiencing. I have found the most peace when I plead with God for healing but still do everything I can to get the best treatment. When I find myself getting down, feeling like God isn’t listening, that’s usually when something happens, or I meet or talk to someone that I never would have encountered without going on this journey. I’ve seen my son bitter and withdrawn and no doubt angry with God, but just now I am witnessing small examples of “healing” as he begins to deal with his condition. I now pray that through all of this he will eventually be drawn into a closer walk with God. Can God heal? YES. But I’ve come to realize that most times there is a journey we must take for God to accomplish what he set out to do – and that healing may well be at the end of that journey. Our faith is tested on the curves and potholes in the road where we constantly need to keep our eyes on the One who knows our pain, the One who can and will give us the strength to take the next step and the One who, yes, can instantly heal. I was recently reminded of the story of Lazarus. Mary and Martha were angry with Jesus for letting their brother die, it had been four days the body was beginning to smell, but as they soon found out, it’s never to late for God to show his mighty power. Sometimes God works through doctors and medicine, but there are also those miraculous stories of God showing his indisputable power. I pray that I can continue to have the faith to expect one of those miracles, but also the faith to continue to believe in a loving, powerful God that might have a different plan.

Sara Hintz says:

Josh… I have to email you telling you that I will try to post later tonight on this subject… I am a pastor’s wife from OK. We lost our 5th child Samuel, 2 years ago, when he was stillborn at 40 weeks and 1 day, out of the blue for no real apparant reason. I have left comments on your wife’s blog… and also sent her an email. I have out of town company coming and need to get the house taken care of… but I will try to email tonight after the guests are in bed.

I been praying for your sweet Jaxton and the rest of your family! God’s peace to you!
Sara

Sara Hintz says:

Dear Josh and Lisa,
The guests are all in bed, so we will see now how well I can articulate all that I think and feel about this. First off though I want you to know I am praying in earnest for your little Jaxton, praying for His healing, God’s will, and for our Lord to continually wrap His strong arms of love around you each day as you journey through this time.

Our situation is a bit different in the sense that we had no warning that Samuel would pass away in my womb at 40 weeks… it took us totally by surprise. But I do remember distinctly praying each single morning with my other 4 kids for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. And things obviously didn’t turn out that way.

Even now as I am 26 weeks along with a baby we miraculously conceived through embryo adoption ( a total God miracle working story) I struggle with some of those same questions Lisa posted. Do I know that God can bring this baby safely in to our home come Spring? 100% Yes… but do I know that is His plan for Levi’s life or His will? No! His ways are so not our ways… We don’t know the plans He has for us…

Losing our Samuel sent me on a many month journey of wrestling out my faith with God. I never once didn’t believe in Him. It didn’t shake my belief at all, just my understanding of Him… and ultimately I think that is part of the mystery of our Great God… we can’t really fully understand Him with our finite minds. Even now 2+ years after Samuel’s death I still struggle and grieve our loss deeply. I have come to a point of totally surrendering the whole situation to God, but I still wish that things were different. But now I certainly can see God’s good work that He has brought about in our lives, in our ability to minister to others, in just the life of our family as a unit… We look at so much so differently than we used to. There is a richness to our life that wasn’t here before… but wow, it has been a long journey to get there. Yet through it all, the deepest, despairing moments, I knew the truths of His word and clung to them. If He said He loves me, he does. If he says He is close to the broken hearted, than He is, even when I can’t see or feel Him. I can certainly proclaim His faithfulness through it all… but it was oh so hard to walk this road we have the last 2 years.

For me the biggest struggle is knowing that we can have faith in this awesome, all powerful God… but knowing still that we need to trust Him when it goes the way we hope it to, and when it doesn’t. The outcome really isn’t the focus… We need to trust Him regardless of the outcome. I will not lie, when it doesn’t go as we hope, then we grieve… we grieve deeply and fully… (And that deep grieving is not a result of a lack of faith… it is the reality of losing a life you hold so very dear to you… I grieved deeply because I loved Samuel so deeply… I had many try to convince me that if I truly believed in the hope of Heaven that I wouldn’t be hurting so deeply… that really only hurt me more. I knew I had faith, and trusted God, but it still hurt so badly and in those short months after… I really just wanted the physical presence of my baby with me. Now the hope of Heaven is something I cling to and long for… but at first Heaven seemed so far off…)

I can only guess in your situation there must be a hard balance between that hope of healing that we KNOW God could do in an instant, and the preparing yourself for whatever God chooses to do with Jaxton’s precious life, if He heals him here on earth or in Heaven. That is a very hard place to be. I guess I would encourage you just to rest in Him as much as possible. If He heals him here as we are all praying for… than there will be great rejoicing in God’s amazing miracle… and if not I promise you, He will carry you and your family through. He will be faithful to sustain you… even when sometimes it feels like a moment to moment thing… I always had to remind myself that His mercies are new every single morning. And I know even then you will be rejoicing in this precious life that God knit together inside of Lisa. Jaxtonis a miracle perfectly formed by God.

I guess coming from a Pastor’s wife… That faith in God is such a journey we are all on. The circumstances of life that we go through don’t really form that faith. We have that faith in God because of What His word says, what Jesus did for us on the cross, how His Holy Spirit draws us to himself… but those circumstances of life are all a part of that faith journey as we cling to Him through it all.

I hope some of that makes sense… As a mom I know my grief and how I dealt with it was very different than my husbands… but I can say the whole situation drew my husband and I together in a much deeper way than ever before.

Josh and Lisa, know that we are praying for a miraculous healing for Jaxton… We know God is able… we wait with you as He reveals His plan for yours and Jaxton’s life… we lift you all up in prayer! We are here for you as brothers and sisters in Christ…

Much Love in our Gracious God, the healer of our physical bodies and our hearts!

Sorry for the novel:)
Sara

Zak says:

John 9:1-3 I totally believe God can and will heal your precious baby Jaxton {love the name}. This verse immediately came to me after reading about your son. Also James 1:6-8. Stick with the prayer and healing. Do not listen to satan; he is going to be telling you it is God’s will. Stay strong and enjoy your beautiful baby.

Zak